Paying it Forward - The Better Life Foundation Virtual 5k

After the support people gave me during my 2013-2014 Tedy's Team season I want to pay it forward and give back by hosting a quick and easy fundraiser for the Better Life Foundation, a charity organization created by my favorite band, 3DD.  The reason?  Brad Arnold, lead singer to the band showed me support during my last fundraising campaign for the American Stroke Association and Tedy's Team.  I thought reaching out to my fellow 3DD fans and their family and friends would be the perfect start.

As a member of Tedy's Team and the American Stroke Association part of my mission is to promote a healthy life style, which is why I'd like to host a virtual 5k to raise money for the Better Life Foundation.

A virtual run or walk means you do the 5k (3.12 mile) “race” at your leisure between June 11 and July 1st. Map out your own route, get your friends together or jump on the treadmill. Your call.

This “race” is open to anyone – all over the world! I will provide a race bib (number) that you can print out and fix to your shirt (if you want) and then take a selfie to upload to the group, facebook or instagram with the hashtag #thebetterlifefoundation5k

You let me know your time and I'll post the final results for everyone at the end. Run or walk - you're making a difference! EVERYONE that completes the “race” will receive a Finisher’s Certificate in the mail!

The entry fee would be $25, which means 40 participants would bring in $1,000 for the Better Life Foundation.

I want to make it clear that 3 Doors Down is in no way sponsoring this event, this is a fan giving his thanks for the support they gave me during a difficult year of healing after the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. Brad has continuously told me that I don’t owe him anything for his help in my fundraising, but I want to do my part. Help me pay it forward!

You can enter one of two ways:
1) Mail a check made out to the Better Life Foundation to: Dan Foley
738 W Hartford Ave
Uxbridge, MA 01569

2) Donate directly to http://www.thebetterlifefoundation.org Then click GIVE at the top of the page.  From that new page click on "Donate Now".

I also have a paypal account (dfoley812@yahoo.com) this option exists if you feel comfortable enough with sending the money directly to me. I'll mail all the checks and money sent to me at one time at the end of the fundraiser.

To sign up e-mail me at dfoley812@yahoo.com. Once I receive your check or you share a receipt from your online donation I'll send you your virtual 5k bib number!

deFEETed.

A week ago I ran my 21 mile dress rehearsal along the Boston Marathon course.  I ran it in a pace that would lead me to my goal of a sub four hour marathon.  For most of the run I felt great.  It was the first long run where I didn't listen to an IPod.  I focused on my breathing and my steps.  I let the occasional song sneak into my thoughts and then fought to change the mental channel.  I visualized finishing the Chicago Marathon with a new PR.

The next day my foot was sore and past thoughts of my plantar faciitis crept into my psyche.  I took the week off from running and stuck to my strength training classes.  Then on Friday I decided to attempt a 5k, still on a sore foot.  Half way through the run I experienced a sharp pain that I ran through until the end, logging a 5k in just under 25 minutes.  It's been 3 days since I ran.  I've had moments where I could barely walk, and other moments where I didn't feel a thing.  I have less than 3 weeks to recover.

The last time my plantar flared up it took almost 4 months to heal, but 4 months is not an option.  I have 20 days, and I will run.  I've worked too hard over the last 4 months not to race, but my focus will shift from a sub 4 to finishing my 7th marathon.  I'm mentally trying to prepare for 26 miles of pain.  I know I can do it, but my fear is what may come as a result.  Last time my body tried to compensate for the foot pain I developed knee problems and landed in physical therapy for an entire training season.  It's hard to run through the pain without altering the stride.  And for those of you that have never experienced plantar faciitis I can describe it in two ways.  Sometimes it feels like there's a golf ball stuck under the skin, right at the arch.  Other times the skin of the arch feels so tight that it feels like it's going to tear.  Either way, it's not pleasant.

I'm not writing this blog as a "poor me".  I'm writing this blog to admit that this is my own fault.  I dish out advise and words of encouragement all the time.  I tell people to make sure they don't over train and preach about the importance of using the foam roller.  I am a hypocrite and I have nobody to blame but myself.  I didn't stay consistent with my PT exercises.  I got lazy with my foam rolling.  I didn't break in my new shoes early enough.  Here's me telling all of you - stick to your plan!

Over the next 3 weeks I will not run.  My plan is to hit the elliptical and keep up the cardio.  My plan is to be dedicated to a healthy diet and not gain unnecessary weight.  My plan is ice 3 times a day and roll my hamstrings and calves every night.  My plan is stay positive and recognize that finishing a marathon in any time is something to be proud of.  Ultimately my plan is to be healed and finish the Chicago Marathon in 3:55.

Until then I'll live vicariously through my twitter feed and all the relaxing, record breaking runs I've been reading about.  Run on!

21 mile dress rehearsal - seeking opinions on diet/routine/music

This past January I planned on running 3 marathons in a 45 day period.  I didn't have a time goal for any of the races, my only plan was to finish them and enjoy them.  If it hadn't been for the tragic events of April 15, 2013 I would have accomplished that goal.  I have always wanted to finish a marathon in under 4 hours, but I knew I needed to focus on endurance and preserving my body for the beating it would take between March 17 and April 28th, and so I decided I would focus on a sub four hour goal in the fall of 2013.  It's fall 2013.

In less than 5 weeks I'll be in Chicago getting ready to take on one of the biggest marathons in the world.  All summer I had planned on focusing on speed and crushing my sub four hour goal, but somewhere a long the way time got away from me and my focus shifted from a personal PR to just trying to inspire and and encourage others to join in on my running obsession.  

In July I got to go for a run with Brad and Chris from 3 Doors Down, and I used the opportunity to encourage them to train for an endurance vent.  Since that run Chris has signed up to run his first half (Nashville) in November.  I have also been coaching a long a close friend's brother, Willy, who is planning on running the Las Vegas full in mid November.  And, although I can't take much credit for this, I've watched my sister struggle to run 7 miles to crushing 13!  My brother has even signed up for his first half (again, Vegas).  I love being a part of something so incredible for all of these people, even if it doesn't mean as much to them as it does to me.  On my 32nd birthday I posted a message on facebook and twitter to ask my friends to take on a new challenge with me, the #1milechallenge.  The terms of the challenge were to run, walk, bike, etc.  1 mile a day for an entire year!  There were lots that showed interest and a few that have continued it almost a month in.  

Small things like this give me a purpose, beyond that of being a father and husband.  It gives me a way to leave a positive imprint on the lives of others.  My hope is that years from now my daughter and future son (yes, Katie and I are expecting our 2nd child on Jan 27th, and it's a boy!) will remember this and grow up wanting to do the same.  It gives me enjoyment to see that I can actually make a difference, but as always it's never enough for me.

As I sit here, just over a month away from the starting line of the Chicago Marathon, I have a lot of anxiety.  Did I blow my chance at a person goal?  Is the 4 hour goal important?  Should I just go out and have fun?  I WANT this!  But I continue to fail myself.  Here's where I'm hoping for some help, again.  I'm always motivated to run.  I could go run 13 miles right now if asked, but what I can't stay on track with is my diet or any of the exercises/cross training I need to supplement my running.  I can easily tell others to roll and ice, but I fail to be consistent myself.  I've gone back and forth about my diet.  Do I cut out alcohol?  Do I try the Palieo diet?  Cut out red meat?  I recently bought a nutribullet and started drinking smoothies each morning (50% spinach 50% frozen fruit w/chia and flax seeds), but I'm not sure I'm properly cutting out other calories or meals.  I also tried TFocus 25 from Insanity.  It was great for the week I tried it, but then it got in the way of my training runs.  Anyone have any suggestions on how to fit in both without injury?

If anyone that reads this has attempted a training program with both running and weight/body training I'm open to any and all suggestions.  I'm also up for any feedback you have on dieting.  I'm fine with my weight, I'd just like to have more lean mass.  

Back to Chicago - I have my 21 mile training run this coming Sunday.  It'll be a dress rehearsal of sorts for me.  I'll be running along some of the Boston Marathon course, but will be 5 miles shy of the finish (an area I don't plan on running through until I finish Boston 2014).  The training run is much hillier than Chicago, which is relatively flat, so if I'm happy with my time on Sunday I should be in good shape for the marathon.  My only fear is that without hills in Chicago I won't get the breaks that down hills offer.  Sounds ridiculous, right?  I think I'm also going to try running without an IPod.  I have a feeling that some of the songs I listen to have too much control over the pace I run.  If anyone has thoughts on this feel free to share!  And if you think it's a bad idea what are your thoughts on listening to only a few songs with a good tempo for the entire race?  

Looking for feedback, so please don't hesitate to give opinions! 

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The official fundraising for my 2014 season is underway.  I continue to run as a member of Tedy's Team - raising funds and awareness to fight stroke.  I run in honor of my father, my uncle, and so many of my family and friends that have been impacted.  This year I'll run the Falmouth Road Race (completed August 11, 2013), Chicago Marathon, Las Vegas Marathon, Boston Marathon and Nashville Half Marathon.  Please take a moment to visit my site, and while there feel free to make a donation to a great cause:

http://tedysteam2014.kintera.org/danfoley

We're not handed tomorrow, so live for today.

3 Doors Down has been my favorite band since my freshman year of college in 2000.  I spent that summer going to several free shows in Providence and Boston when the song their best known for, Kryptonite, first got big.  I continued to see them throughout college as open acts, until they gained enough popularity to start headlining and co-headlining their own tours with bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Many of my friends would question my passion for the band, but it was something about their stage presence and humble demeanor that made the appealing.  They seemed honest and sincere and I could relate to so many of the lyrics in their songs through my ups and downs over the last decade.

Over the years I've met them several times at meet and greets, or after shows.  My most memorable encounter was December 2011 at the Lansdown Pub in Boston.  Brad Arnold, the lead singer, and Chris Henderson, the lead guitarist, had just played an acoustic set for Mix 104.1's holiday concert.  After the show I was approached by Brad, thanking me for knowing the lyrics to his songs and enjoying the show.  These two guys have been idols of mine since I was 18 years old, so just a simple conversation was enough to leave me star struck.

As I've said over and over again, since the Boston Marathon bombings my outlook on how to approach life has changed.  I've thought a lot about how I'd want others to remember me, and how I can inspire and have an impact on others in my life.  My involvement with Tedy's Team has only gotten stronger and fueled with more passion.  My devotion to church and learning more about my faith has increased.  The realization of how blessed I am to have such an amazing family, a job I enjoy, and a great group of friends has kept me grounded.  And then, there's something I can sum up with some 3DD lyrics, "We're not handed tomorrow, so I'll live for today."  Bad things happen, but so don't good things.  If there's something you've want in life and it won't hurt someone else, go for it.

When I learned 3DD was playing Boston on July 12th, I went for it.  I reached out to Brad and asked if he'd have any interest in taking a run through the city.  I never expected to hear back, but I did, almost immediately.  I never thought he'd follow through, as there was 2 months between my original message and the date of the show, but he did.  Not only that, but so did Chris.  On a side note I have been corresponding with Chris for the past year over twitter.  He's been an incredible inspiration as I've watched him take control of his life through diet, exercise, and sobriety.

I asked Brad before our run why he said yes, and honestly I can't even remember his answer at this point, but what I remember him saying is that if he makes a commitment to someone, he follows through.  Walking back stage to meet Brad I was nervous.  I figured I'd make a complete ass of myself, probably asking dumb questions and leaving him counting the seconds until he could figure out how to end the awkwardness, but it was nothing like that.  As Brad and Chris put it, they are just two regular rednecks.  And, as most of you know, I've spent the last two years becoming a redneck.  The camo glasses say it all...

I'm going to spare a lot of the details because honestly what the day turned out to be was just 3 guys taking a run through the city of Boston.  As most of my running friends can attest to, the conversations you have while running are about as honest of a conversation as you'll ever have.  I asked very little about the band, we talked more about our families and a lot about our training and exercise routines.  Turns out our 3.5 mile run ended up being Brad's longest.  We talked a lot about marathon running and the Nashville Half that I'll be running at the end of April.  Both Chris and Brad peaked an interest, and I'd love to say I inspired them to give it a go, as their lyrics have inspired me over the years, but we'll have to see.

At the end of the run we had parted ways, but not before they gave me a contact for some (unsolicited) seat upgrades.  And not before I did ask them for one favor.  I had brought Brad a few Boston Strong t-shirts, as well as a Tedy's Team shirt, as a thank you for getting together, but I had also bought one and asked if the band could autograph it for a raffle prize.  They graciously accepted, but of course like an idiot, I forgot to drop it off before the show.  I did end up getting it back with Brad's signature and Chris Daughtry, and I fully intend to still raffle it off with the help of 3DD Nation to raise money for Tedy's Team.

Before going back to the venue for the show that night I exchanged several text message with Brad.  The first from him, thanking me for the run.  Humbling, to say the least.  Here I was just finishing up a run with two artists that I've idolized for 13 years, and I was the one getting the thank you.  I have no idea if I'll ever have the opportunity to speak to Brad or Chris like this anytime in the future, but I hope I do.  If not, I hope they realize that they gave me one of the most memorable runs of my life.  I cannot thank them enough.  So often you hear stories of people meeting their idols and being completed disappointed in their demeanor.  I have the pleasure to say that 3 of the people I've idolized (Brad, Chris, and of course Tedy Bruschi) have given me the opportunity to not only get to know them on a personal level, but get to know them through my passion for running.

This was truly one of those moments that I'll look back on throughout my life and realize how blessed I have been and continue to be.  And if Brad and Chris do by some chance read this, and they are serious about the Nashville Half, you don't have to tell me twice.

For those of my friends that have questioned my devotion to 3DD and their music, you can stop now.

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The official fundraising for my 2014 season is underway.  I continue to run as a member of Tedy's Team - raising funds and awareness to fight stroke.  I run in honor of my father, my uncle, and so many of my family and friends that have been impacted.  This year I'll run the Falmouth Road Race, Chicago Marathon, Las Vegas Marathon, Boston Marathon and Nashville Half Marathon.  Please take a moment to visit my site, and while there feel free to make a donation to a great cause:

http://tedysteam2014.kintera.org/danfoley

One Run Boston

It's been two and a half months since the Boston Marathon bombings, and I'm happy to say that my family is moving forward.  I think about it less each day, but can often be reminded when Paige starts asking her innocent questions.  "Where's the bad guy now, dada?  Is he in jail?  Is jail far away?  Will the bad guy be at your next race?"  When the questions first started immediately following the marathon there was a sense of fear that came with them, but as time has passed she seems to be asking more for reassurance that she is safe.

Unfortunately, I cannot just lie and say she'll always be safe and that something like this would never happen again.  What I can tell her is that her mommy and daddy will protect her, and that even though there are some bad guys in the world there are a lot more of the good guys.  Whenever she brings up the finish line we try to remind her of the good guys.  Katie will often ask her if she remembers all the policeman that came to help everyone, and I hope this is what will stick with her.  She recently asked if she could "shoot the bad guys."  It was a little frightening to hear my 3 year old so innocently ask that question, and even harder to explain to her that we don't shoot bad people, we let the good guys put the bad guys in jail.

On Sunday I ran a leg of One Run Boston, a coast to coast race ending on the Boston Marathon course to raise money for the One Fund.  When I signed up I knew I wanted to run part of the marathon course, but ever since April 15 I've questioned if I wanted to cross the finish line outside of the actual race.  I decided to run the leg of the race that would end at the starting line of the marathon in Hopkinton.  My six and a half mile leg of the course was mostly up hill, and it was exhausting, but approaching the starting line of the marathon made it all worth it.  There was a large group of spectators, Katie and Paige included, along with members of the media and members of the BAA waiting there to cheer us on.  Seeing Paige and Katie cheering for me unleashed a flood of emotions I wasn't expecting.

Paige was so happy watching one of her Dada's races again.  She was cheering and smiling standing beside her mom and it brought tears to my eyes.  At first the emotions were joy.  I was thrilled to see my little girl there without the memories of the bad guys holding her back, but then I remembered the horror that she and Katie had witnessed.  Anger came over me, real true anger for the first time since the marathon.  When I got home from the One Run I had several text messages from friends and family asking me to join them on their way to the finish line, but I couldn't do it.  I spent hours thinking about what the "bad guys" had put my family and so many other families through.  I finally allowed the selfish thoughts to consume me.  They had taken away my moment of glory.  They had instilled a fear in so many children and adults that may fade, but will always be a part of them.  They took away what the Boston Marathon had meant to me and my family.  Marathon Monday will always be important, but it will no longer be a day about getting together to cheer and celebrate accomplishments.  Now it becomes a day of that we will refer to as the 1st, the 2nd, the 3rd, ...anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombing.  I hate the cowards that ruined this day, and yes maybe I part of me would love to shoot the remaining brother, but I will not let that emotion come across to my little girl.  I know it's not right and I know if I let all these feelings take control they achieve what they set out to do and they win.

After a few nights of reflecting and thinking about the marathon all over again, I think I'm ready for some closure.  Next week I'll be in Boston to see my favorite band.  A few months ago I reached out to a member of the band, someone I have idolized for 13 years now and knowing he's into fitness, asking if he'd like to go for a run through the city before the show.  I figured I didn't have anything to lose, worst case is that he doesn't respond.  The exciting news is I got a message back a few short days later and we're heading out to run through some of Boston and to the marathon memorial.  I plan to bring him down Boylston so that he can see the famous finish line, I think it's going to be a really amazing moment and experience for me.  I'm honored that he thinks enough of his fans to give me this moment.  As a thank you I've already got him a few Boston Strong shirts, and of course a Tedy's Team shirt.  And even though I'll be on Boylston, and with someone I've looked up to for so long, it won't be the right time for me to cross the finish line.

I think it's extremely important that we always remember what happened and those that were impacted that day, but I will miss what it once was.  I cannot say for sure what I'll feel about the 2014 Boston Marathon until April 21st, 2014 has come and gone, but I know it'll be emotional.  I know I'll be excited, proud, and scared, but the important thing is that I'll be out there, as always as a member of Tedy's Team, and that is the day I will finally cross that finish line again.


The official fundraising for my 2014 season is underway.  I continue to run as a member of Tedy's Team - raising funds and awareness to fight stroke.  I run in honor of my father, my uncle, and so many of my family and friends that have been impacted.  Please take a moment to visit my site, and while there feel free to make a donation to a great cause:

http://tedysteam2014.kintera.org/danfoley

Where have I been?

It's been over a month since my last marathon and about two weeks since my last half and I'm itching to get back out there to earn some more medals.

The Big Sur Marathon was an amazing experience.  I got to spend 4 days with some of the best folks out there - I love my Tedy's Team.  I ran every step with one of my teammates, Jackie, and we crossed the finish line carrying our Boston bib numbers.  It was an emotional and amazing moment.  The views along the course were breathtaking and worth every mile.  I will say that the course lived up to its reputation of being difficult, especially the two mile long hill from 9.8 to 12, but the time ticked away faster than any run I have ever done.  If you're looking for a challenge, a vacation, or your next course - this is the one!  Thank you so much for all the support each and everyone of you provided to me over the 2013 Tedy's Team season.  

April 15th was like stepping over a threshold and through a doorway that you can never return.  Life changed that day for so many of us.  I'm choosing to use that day as motivation to go forward living my life to help and inspire others, but also to enjoy every day with my family and friends.  Sure there are still days that I get angry, I probably will for the rest of my life, but none of us should let those feeling take us over.  

I invite you all to join me in making a difference, and some of you already have.  Last month my friends Travis and Erin, along with their two children, and my Aunt Jane helped me work a water stop at the Central Mass Heart Walk.  We had a blast cheering on the hundreds of walkers, including Katie, Paige, Amy, Evan and Owen.  It's a great way to teach our children that giving their time to others can be fun and a way to encourage physical activity.

Going forward I have joined a committee for the American Heart Association called My Heart, My Life.  As part of my membership I've committed to getting a local company (or more) to becoming a "Fit Friendly" workplace.  I'd ask that any of you reading this reach out to me if you feel your company would be willing to hear about the program.  It's free to all companies that join and a great way to encourage your employees or co-workers to get fit!  I'm also hoping to get involved with the Uxbridge School System to recognize National Eating Healthy Day in November.  I'm really excited about the possibility of helping the American Heart Association with their mission.  If anyone is interested on how to get involved please let me know!

Outside of that I really want to continue my involvement with Tedy's Team.  I've taken on a commitment to raise $11k in the upcoming 2014 Season.  I'll be running the Falmouth Road Race, Las Vegas Marathon, Boston Marathon, and the Nashville 1/2 Marathon.  On top of that I'll be using the Chicago Marathon as some training.  I'm hoping to go beyond my 11k and make it to 15k and then some!  With your help I know I can make it.  I'm trying to come up with new ideas to fundraise, so if you have any suggestions I'm game.  For now I'll be continuing with the football pools, the annual drawings and the bowling tournament!  

I came up with one new idea during my 10 miler today.  I'm looking for someone that'll sponsor me starting in July and continuing through the Nashville Half at the end of April.  I'm asking that sponsor to donate $1 for ever mile I run between July 1st and April 26th, 2014.  That sponsor can donate after each run, or at the end of every month.  If interested let me know!  It'll be great motivation for me to make those training longs a little longer!

Finally, I wanted to say that I've learned if there's something you want sometimes you just have to go for it!  I recently reached out to someone that I've idolized for a long time and asked if they'd be interested in doing a short run with me through Boston.  I heard back within a few days and so far it looks like a go.  I don't want to go into too many details because I'm not 100% confident that it'll happen, but if it does I promise everyone will hear all about it.  I bring this up because if there is anyone out there that has ever held back for any reason, don't!  If it's not going to hurt anyone, and it's something you've always wanted, go for it!  You only live once!

As I start my training I plan on returning to the blogging world more frequently, with a little bit more about the run and the training and a little less of the group hugs.

2013 Boston Marathon

Those of you that know me know that I express how I’m feeling through my blog entries, and I’ve tried a few times to sit down and get my thoughts out about this past week.  After reading a blog from my teammate and friend, Bill early this morning I think I’m finally ready to try and get my thoughts out. 

Over the last six months I have put so much of my time and energy into training and fundraising.  I’ve worked hard to try an accomplish something I knew would be difficult, completing 3 marathons in a 43 day period.  When I wrote about my Boston Marathon experience I thought I’d be writing about how if felt to be 1 marathon away from achieving this goal, but that seems so minimal now. 

Last Monday started unlike any other marathon experience for me.  I had gotten a good night sleep, I was calm, and I knew I was going to have a good race.  LA had put me in such a good spot and really gave me confidence that I had been lacking in previous races.  I met my team early in Hopkinton and tried to find a quiet spot to rest before the race.  I joked with teammates, took photos, and had a couple of good conversations with Tedy.  The moment that stands out the most to me though was just before we set off to the starting line we gathered for a moment of silent reflection.  When we were done, Tedy asked God to bless the team and watch over us. 

As for the race itself, it didn’t go as planned.  Originally I was going to run with my friend Bethany, but after some confusion in the corrals at the beginning I was unable to find her.  I was able to start and run the first 6 miles of the race with my friend Matt, and had planned on sticking with him.  Then, something came over me and I got into what some would call “the zone.”    Seeing my family along the course pumped me up, as always, especially at the second stop.  Paige was more enthusiastic than I had ever seen her, and all their cheers and support pushed me forward with even more strength and determination.  I felt strong and best of all I was having fun.  As I reached mile 25 I knew they’d be there cheering me on down Boylston and I was already thinking about the fist pumps and show I’d put on for them.  After all, I am an attention whore.  A half a mile later my race ended.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I was at a benefit in Watertown to raise money for the victims of the bombing put on by my good friend Meghan, owner of Alainn, where I was interviewed by a radio station.  The first question I was asked, “What did you see out there?”  I saw humanity at its best.  From the moment I learned about the bombs, to the moment I write this and forward.  Monday was a game changer for me.  There is evil in this world, but it’s not the majority.  In the past whenever someone asked me where I was from and I told them Massachusetts I would always add, but I think I’m really from the south at heart because I’m not an asshole.  I am ashamed of ever saying that.  For most of my life I’ve failed to recognize the passion and pride that’s embedded in those actions. 

Runners, spectators, police officers, marathon volunteers, friends, family, and strangers all game together.  Those of us that had stopped running were getting the chills, a lot of us were dehydrated, and almost all of us were worried about someone that was waiting for us on Boylston.  Immediately people started running out of their homes offering bottles of water, food, trash bags to stay warm, clothing, and cell phones for us to get in touch with our loved ones.  A hug went a long way.  I was fortunate enough to meet up with friends shortly after.  One of my friends, Tyson, gave me his jacket to stay warm (I’ll need to have that dry cleaned).  Tyson is a Framingham Police Officer.  Next time I see him he’s getting more than his jacket back.  He’s getting a display of man love like he’s never experienced before. 

There are so many things I could talk about from Monday.  What I will say is that before I really knew what had occurred I had already heard from my family and friends that I knew were at the finish line.  The four most important women in my life (my wife, daughter, mother, and sister) were directly across the street from the second explosion, but I had already heard they were physically okay.  I had heard from my friend Zack, the coordinator for Tedy’s Team, that everyone at the Lenox was also unharmed.  After two and a half hours I finally was able to reunite with my family.  When I saw them from across the street I ran faster than I had at any point of my marathon run, nothing hurt, nothing else mattered. 

The short prayer before Monday’s run keeps sticking with me.  I started going back to church (New England Chapel) a few months ago.  Although I still have a lot of questions about my faith, I couldn’t have picked a better time to start looking for guidance.  There were a lot of members of the church at the finish line and together we can all help each other through the challenges of moving forward. 

My biggest challenge through all this is that I do not understand exactly what my family is experiencing.  Slowly I’m hearing about Monday through the eyes of my 3 year old. More and more she’s been asking us questions about what the scary thing was at Daddy’s race and what the bad guy’s name is that scared her.  It breaks my heart to know that at such a young age she experienced terror and evil first hand, but at the same time I know this is my opportunity as a father to guide her and teach her this isn’t the true way of the world.  Katie and I have had to reassure her that she and her family are safe now and that the “bad man” has been caught.  We’ve been very honest with her letting her know that sometimes people try to scare other people, but remind her of all the people she saw rushing to help.  I’m thankful she’s asking questions and I think this will allow her to quickly get over any fears she has from Monday.  The biggest comfort I have is knowing that Paige was immediately in the arms of her mother, and I know there’s no place she feels safer. 

There are so many other thoughts and feeling going through me head, that I know I’ll need to get out.  There’s guilt.  I felt so undeserving when I went to pick up my medal, not because I didn’t finish, but because it didn’t seem important.  There’s disgust.  I hear people angry and upset wanting to torture the last living suspect.  I know these men did a horrible thing, and they should be punished, but it’s difficult to hear radio personalities, co-workers, friends, family talk about how they’d want to see it done.  There’s fear.  What’s going to happen the next time I run?  Could this happen again?  Finally there’s love and gratefulness.  The outpouring of emotion and support from co-workers, family, friends, and complete strangers has been amazing.  Every embrace, hand shake, text, e-mail, facebook message reminds me of the good in the world and how much my family and I mean to so many people.  Those I haven’t seen since Monday, I cannot wait to see to hug and appreciate you for what you mean to me. 

On Thursday I leave for Big Sur to run the last of my 3 marathons.  As I run I want to think about Meghan’s benefit and how she immediately brought a community together to raise money for the victims.  I want to think about all the people that selflessly rushed to help the injured.  I want to think about the first responders and all of their families.  I want to think about the victims and their recovery.  I want to think about Tedy’s Team and all our efforts to raise money to fight stroke.  I want to think about my next race. 

Katie is staying home with Paige, but I’ll be there with my team.  One thing Katie has continued to say over the last week is that she doesn’t want Monday to ruin what’s become such an important part of our life, Tedy’s Team & the Boston Marathon.  I cannot wait to cross the finish line on Sunday, and when I do someone better be there with Katie and Paige to give them a giant hug for me.