One Mudder of a Blog

This past weekend was pretty incredible.  I took part in a 10 and a half mile military style obstacle course known as Tough Mudder.  I first heard about Tough Mudder from Amy's husband Jay last August while we were down the Cape preparing to run the Falmouth Road Race.  At the time I was nursing a knee injury and hadn't run in almost a month.  Jay showed me the website and I laughed at how insane the challenge seemed.  Never would I ever consider doing it....

Fast forward a few months.  Damien brought up Tough Mudder and was determined to get as many family and friends to join him as possible.  By this point I was signed up for the Boston Marathon and told him I'd consider it.  Fast forward another few months, early January.  I was hanging out with some Hanover folks at the Texas Roadhouse and was a few Killian Irish Red's in when another co-worker brought up the Mudder.  Beer balls!   BAM, I was in.  The next day at work I proved I wasn't all talk, paid the entry fee and soon we had formed team Phat Kids.

From January to May a lot happened, but most of the time I was focused on training for the Marathon.  I started a daily push up challenge with my buddy Jack to keep me somewhat focused on upper body strength and got stronger than I have ever been.  Then the Marathon came and went.  Emotionally it was an unbelievable experience, but the day was physically exhausting and I lost a lot of my motivation to focus on the Mudder, but that wouldn't stop it from coming.

Saturday morning I picked up Jack at the airport and we headed to Vermont with most of the team (Nick, Joe, Ian, Mike, and Damien).  Saturday night came and went and it was time for the event.  When we arrived at the mountain we could see the first wave of people had already started.  Looking as high as you could on Mount Snow you could see the deserted ski trails littered with people.  One thing was certain, Heartbreak Hill looked simple.  As we waited to start the anxiety was overwhelming for me, so much so that a few of my teammates started to comment that I was making them nervous.  It only built when I saw that we had to climb over an eight foot wall just to get to the starting line.  Then it was time.  As a team we made it over the wall and to the start, and as soon as I was within the anxiety turned to excitement.  It was one of the first times in my life that I stood there with a group of people and knew that it didn't matter what obstacles I could complete it was enough that all of us had signed up and were there ready to start as a team.

After the start line it was straight up the mountain ankle deep in mud.  Then, straight down the mountain, ankle deep in mud.  Jack was the first to wipe out, Damien quickly followed, and by mile 3 we were all a blur of muddy shirts.  There were 28 obstacles along the way.  We jumped into a dumpster filled with ice and water, climbed up and down hills of mud for 2 miles, crawled under barbed wire (and yes, it was real), crawled through pitch black underground tunnels, climbed cargo nets, jumped off planks into freezing cold water, crawled through water while electrical wires dangled from above, walked across balance beams with freezing water below, attempted monkey bars, slid down ice mounds, scaled a cliff (more or less), ran up a half pipe, got sprayed by a fire house, ran through a trail lined with burning hail bails, and climbed through logs wrapped in barbed wire.  Some of us were stronger than others during some of the obstacles, but we all stuck together and finished as the Phat Kids.

The months of hill training and long distance running definitely prepared me well for the mountain.  I had little to no pain in my calfs and legs the next day, but I learned my upper body still needs some work.  I was definitely able to do more than I would have ever been able to do in the past, and I'm proud of what I was able to do.  My only disappointment is that I choose to walk around one of the obstacles toward the end.  Rather than going over the 12 foot berlin wall, I helped my team get up and over and then met them on the other side.  I'm truly pissed at myself for this - there was no reason for me not to go over.  It wasn't an individual event, everyone needed their team to get over, and there were hundred's of strangers that were there willing to lift me.  This was the challenge that had me nervous from the moment I saw it.  I envisioned myself coming off of the wall and breaking my ankle and putting an end to all the running I have planned over the next few months.  I let my fear get the best of me.  It's like my mind is always looking for an out.  I'm always looking for something that can turn an incredible moment into a disappointment.  Well, props buddy, you did it again!  I dwelled on this a lot on Monday and Tuesday, but I'm ready to let it go now and just be proud of ever taking part in Tough Mudder.

To the 8 other Phat Kids - Damien, Jack, Joe, Nick, Meghan, Sarah, Ian, and Mike - thank you for an unbelievable experience.  Damien, thank you for planting the seed in my head and always giving me confidence to try new things and to be myself.  Jack, thanks for coming back to New England to be part of it all!  I hope the two of you are ready for some serious running once you've recovered.

One final thought now that the Marathon and the Mudder are behind me.  I'm in a complete post-event depression.  I have a sort of emptiness and I'm not sure how to fill the void.  I know it sounds insane, but I almost feel like I need my next challenge.  I still have the goal of a sub 4 hour marathon and I'm signed up for the Marine Corp, but right now it doesn't seem like enough.  I'm hoping as I get further from these events the feeling will go away, but right now it's not welcomed!

Below are some of my favorite pictures from the event:

2012 Boston Marathon Weekend captured by McCardinal Photo

The 2012 Boston Marathon - Thank you Tedy's Team!

When I started this blog back in December I knew that when I wrote about April 16, 2012 I'd be saying it was an amazing day, but I thought I would be bragging about accomplishing my goal and finishing the marathon in less than 4 hours.  Instead, I'm here with a finishing time of 5:07, 35 minutes over last years time.  What I got out of this race went far beyond any personal record, it was the truly the first time that I was able to experience the importance of a team and relying on your teammates.  

I had five incredible months of training.  I broke all sorts of personal records and goals I had set for myself and came out of it without any real injury.  Everything was set up for me to blow away my 2011 time of 4:32.  Then came the weather forecast - 80 degrees, then 82, then 86, then 90.  I was devastated to think all of my hard work was a waste because I wouldn't have a shot at my 4 hours, but after countless warnings from the BAA, our coach, and massive media hype I let go of those worries and really began to wonder if I was going to physically and mentally be up for it.  Over the weekend I had so many fears that I would either throw up or collapse on Boylston Street, right before the finish line - little did I know at the time my worst fear would happen.  

The temperature was already in the mid 70s at the start of the race, and by mile two I was already drenched with sweat.  Amy and I started off together as we had planned.  A few miles into the race with joined up with Tim, another member of Tedy's Team.  The 3 of us stuck together through the first half of the race.  We took walking breaks at every water stop and even a few in between.  It was a miserable day to run, but having teammates to help you through made a world of difference.  Tim had even shared with us his lack of training plan throughout the season, which made the fact that he was there all that more impressive.  At the half way point Tim couldn't keep the same pace with us any longer and told us to go on without him.  Amy and I continued for a few minutes discussing if it were the right thing to do.  Amy's ankle was really bothering her and the more than frequent walking breaks were taking a toll.  I could tell she was in pain and worried if she took it slower she wouldn't finish.  As much as I wanted to finish the race with my training partner I made the decision to stick back and wait for Tim.  It was a decision I will never regret.

The theme of our pasta party a few nights before the marathon was all about team, and I just felt as though I would be a hypocrite leaving Tim on his own.  It's not that I thought he wouldn't finish, but I knew Amy had the determination in her to make it to the end.  It was Amy's first marathon and she deserved to get the goal she wanted.  Tim and I ran together the rest of the way into Boston.  We took a lot of walking breaks and set small goals throughout the 13 miles.  We'd pick a street sign to start running at and another landmark down the road to stop for a walking break.  At one point along the Boston College campus I was starting to lose what was left of my steam.  Tim bolted ahead yelling to the crowd to give it up for his friend Dan.  An entire mile of drunken students chanting your name is a great motivator.  Tim's hamstring froze up on him just after his chant and it was my time to return the favor.  I didn't get nearly the crowd reaction he got for me, I got a lot to learn from this guy on how to motivate people, but I did my best.  

We ended up meeting up with two other members of our team, Jenn and Johnny.  They were running on the same tank we were and helping to push each other through.  The four of us ended up sticking together for the last long stretch into Boston.  Again we'd set small goals, but as the focus was on trying to get Johnny water I could feel my legs starting to cramp up.  It was at mile 23 that I thought I might not make it.  We got to the home stretch and decided we'd make ourselves look good and run strong through the finish.  At this point it had been over five hours and the temperature was just under 90 degrees.  We were on Hereford, all we had to do was take a quick left on Boylston and the finish line would be in sight.  Just before our left turn my right calf went hard as a rock and I couldn't take a step.  The four of us all stopped together.  Tim helped get the cramp out and Jenn gave one last pep talk.  We started jogging took our left and the finish line was in sight.  Half way down Boylston Johnny stopped to walk.  Tim, Jenn and I turned to get him moving again, but as we did both my calf muscles froze on me and I started to collapse, right there with the finish line in sight just as I had feared, and worse off right in front of my family.  Tim and Jenn caught me before I hit the ground.  At that moment I heard someone on the sideline say something along the lines of "That poor guy isn't going to finish and he's so close."  Luckily I was with my team.  Again Tim helped get my muscles moving again and he and Jenn started walking me toward the finish line.  

Johnny had no idea we had stopped and he had kept going to toward the finish, but right before he crossed he realized we weren't with him.  He came jogging back and took Jenn's place supporting me.  I honestly thought that this is how my marathon ended, that I was basically carried across the finish line, but luckily my sister-in-law Erin was right there recording the finish.  Right before we crossed they got me moving again and I was able to run across without any physical support.  Jenn, Johnny, Tim, and I all finished together.  It was an unreal moment.

Tim's girl came up to me at the Lenox hotel after party and thanked me for staying with him throughout the run, but truth is if I hadn't I have no idea if I would have ever have made it to the end.  It was honestly one of the most physically and mentally challenging moments of my life.  And as I said at the beginning it truly taught me what it was to be on a team.  As teammates we all helped each other through some tough spots, and literally carried each other to the finish.  

I know how amazingly cheesey this all sounds, but right now I'm on an emotional high and I don't care.  I am so proud to be a member of Tedy's Team and hope I am for years to come.  I barely know the 3 people that I crossed that finish line with, but they share one of the most important days of my life.

Finally, another quick thank you to all of our family and friends that were out on the course supporting us.  Having a familiar face in the crowd made a world of difference at some very important times.  I cannot express how challenging the high temperatures made this day.  It was a wildcard that none of us could really prepare for.  I'm so proud of my entire team, even the ones that weren't able to cross the finish line.  Most importantly I'm proud of my family.  Amy and Katie were able to get through some of the most difficult hours on their own.  They are two of the strongest and most determined women I know.  The fact that they faced it on their own and were able to push themselves is something I admire and something I never could have done on Monday.  I love you both and hope you realize what an amazing accomplishment you've both achieved.  This was my second Boston Marathon, but even before the race started I knew it was going to be the most important.

I've learned a lot about myself over these five months.  This isn't the end of my blog, just the end of this particular chapter.

One last Pre-Boston Blog.

First, thank you all for all the concern, kind words, support, and $$ that have gotten me, Katie, and Amy to this point.  Each day as the marathon has gotten closer my outlook on the outcome has changed.  I'm ready to take this on, to be safe, and to just finish the race.  Tomorrow will be one of the hottest Boston Marathon's on record and to one day look back and say I ran in some incredibly challenging circumstances will be a goal all in itself.

Tomorrow's run is more important to me than last year.  I've made this journey with family and I've grown physically and mentally stronger than I have ever been.  Tomorrow is about finishing that chapter of the journey, but not an end.

Tomorrow is about the American Stroke Association and raising awareness and fighting to end stroke.  Tomorrow is about my dad.  Him and I butt heads all the time and very rarely see each other's point of view, but I know how much I mean to him.  Tomorrow is about showing him how much he means to me and how much I appreciate everything he does.

Tomorrow has gone beyond just the cause I've helped raise money for over the past 5 months.  It's about all the people that have told me I've inspired them.  This is my way of continuing to inspire you - finishing the most challenging race of my life!  Let me also say I want to run a full marathon with each and everyone of you!

One last time, Katie - I love you and you're amazing for putting up with me.  I could never have become the man I am today without you by my side.

Finally, if tomorrow were an episode of Double Dare I'd say, "Physical Challenge Accepted."  Now, if only there were pools of green slime and giant peanut butter and jelly sandwiches standing in my way instead of intense heat.

To all the other runners out there - Good luck and be safe!

Warning issued from the BAA on Monday's Marathon.

New goal, be smart & be safe:

Advisory From Boston Marathon Medical Directors to Entrants in the 2012 Boston Marathon Saturday, April 14, 2012 as of 11:30 a.m. We are looking closely at the current weather situation which is projected  to be quite warm. The B.A.A. is closely monitoring this situation for for race day decisions. If the temperatures reach certain levels, running will put even the most fit athletes at risk for heat injury.    We are now making the recommendation that if you are not highly fit or if you have any underlying medical conditions (for example-cardiac disease, pulmonary disease or any of a number of medical problems), you should NOT run this race.    Inexperienced marathoners should not run.    Those who have only trained in a cooler climate and who may not be acclimated (for at least the last 10 days) to warm weather running conditions should also consider not running.    For those very fit athletes who decide to run, you should take significant precautions:    Run at a slower pace and maintain hydration. You should frequently take breaks by walking instead of running. This will not be a day to run a personal best.  If you choose to run, run safely above all else. Speed can kill. Heat stroke is a serious issue and is related to intensity of running as well as the heat and humidity. Good hydration is important but over hydration can also be a problem. Thirst is an indication that you are under-hydrated. You should maintain hydration levels slightly greater than your hydration program in your training, but not excessively so. Even the fittest athletes, that take precautions can still suffer serious heat illness. Recognizing symptoms of heat illness in yourself and others is critical , this may include headaches, dizziness, confusion, fatigue, nausea and vomiting. If you experience any of these, stop running immediately and if symptoms persist seek medical attention. Boston Marathon Co-Medical Directors, Dr. Pierre d'Hemecourt and Dr. Sophia Dyer

My journey to Boston...

Last blog I talked about how I couldn't do a thing about the weather and I'd stop worrying about it.  I lied.  The heat is expected to break some records on Monday, which would be awesome if I wasn't running 26.2 miles.  It's time to readjust the running plan along with 27,000 other runners.

When I first started writing this blog my goal was to improve upon my 2011 finish of 4:32 and end at or around 4:15.  It looks like with the circumstance of the heat my new goal is to just get a PR, 4:31 will even do.  Now, all this could change when I'm in the moment.  But ultimately with all the warnings we've been sent by the BAA and our coaches I just need to be smart and responsible.  My plan is to remember I'm trying to set an example for my Paigey and that there's someone a few strides behind me that needs me as much as I need her (I'm talking about my wife for those of you that didn't pick up on that, Matt).  26.2 miles is an accomplishment no matter what the time, and being able to say we raised $18k on top of running just makes it that much better.

For those of you out there cheering me on know that I'm doing the best I can on Monday for me, for you, and for a great cause.  Say a few prayers the temperature doesn't get too out of control and that the runners finish safely.  I know I'll have lots of you cheering me on in Natick, at heartbreak hill, and at Boston College.  I won't object to any of you having nice cold bottles of water, Powerade, and salt packets.  I can't wait to see all of you, it makes a world of difference to have a cheering squad out on the course.  One of you may even be lucky enough to get tossed my incredibly sweaty hat if it becomes uncomfortable to wear.  I also know I'll have 3 close friends cheering me on out in California, so when the 3 of you get those text message alerts rest assure that I didn't pass out!

I'd love to say this is it, I've come to terms with the weather and I won't stress out about it over the next two days, but that'd be a lie.  If it wasn't the weather, I'd be stressing out about something else.

Just in case I don't get a chance to write another blog before Monday.  To my wife:  I'm incredibly proud of how far you've come over the past five months.  You've pushed yourself like I've never seen before with your Revabs class and long distance training.  Seeing you finish New Bedford with a PR was incredible, and I hope I'm able to get to a spot to watch you finish your first Boston Marathon.  I know you'll do great and I know you'll make Paigey and I proud.  You've quietly sat back while I've bragged and boasted about my training, while in the mean time you've shaved a ton of time off your own runs.  Don't think it went unnoticed!  This won't be your last marathon, together we're going to fill our walls with metals and bibs!

To Amy:  I know you've had a rough time the past month with your ankle issue, but I also know that you're a tough stubborn Page, just like the rest of them!  I have no doubt you'll finish.  Thank you for being supportive and encouraging for the past year.  Your excitement after I finished last year's marathon was a big part of why I wanted to do this again this year!  It's been great getting to know you better through training and let's make sure this isn't the last time the 3 of us are on the same team!

To Tedy's Team:  I cannot thank you enough for selecting me to be part of the team.  You've given me the opportunity to run in honor of my dad and accomplish things I never thought possible.  I'm thankful to have helped in raising so much $$ towards a good cause.  I've met a lot of great people and have learned a lot about myself.  As long as you'll let me, I'm going to keep coming back!

One last time... If any of you want to follow our progress text the word "runner" to 345678.  Then reply with our bib numbers: 22400 (me); 22401 (Kate); 22404 (Amy); 21677 (Tedy)!

Here's to Boston, finishing safely, and new PR!

Mind dump...

First a big apology to everyone around me.  I knew the anxiety would be a lot this week and I knew I'd have my ups and downs, but holy shit!  I've been an annoying person that needs constant validation and I thank you all for bearing with me.  4 more days to get through and then the big day is finally here!  Stick with me!

Now, to blow off some of the anxiety...  the following things have been clouding my head this week:

1) The weather.  First it's 62 and partly cloudy.  Then it's 80 and sunny.  Now it's back to the low 60s.  I can't do a thing about this.  Why worry about it?  Because I've trained hard and I want my 4 hours.  If it's too hot that goes out the window.  I already know I can finish, so now I want the time.  Too bad, this is going to impact every runner out there.  Suck it up.  Okay, done.  Moving on...

2)  Which sneakers do I wear?  I've had two pair that I like.  One of them has been great for the shorter distance running and the other I've used for all the long runs.  In one pair my ankles are always sore for the first few miles, in another my foot tends to hurt more later in the run.  Coin toss?

3)  Where is everyone going to be?  I want to make sure I see everyone that's come out to support me.  I can't worry about this.  I'm one person, they'll find me.  I would love it for my entire family to be at the finish line, but I know this is impossible, and it's probably the last place I need the support.  Once you turn the corner and see the finish line in the distance it's enough to push through anything.

4)  My time.  I want the 4 hours, for myself and for all of you.  So many of my friends and family will be tracking me online I don't want them to see me approach the four hours and go over.  I want all of you that have been cheering for me over the past five months to know that I was worth cheering for and that I'm physically and mentally strong enough to accomplish everything I've set out to do.

5) What am I going to eat Monday night.  I've been pretty good about my diet, but on Monday and likely a few days after, I'm going to eat whatever the hell I want.  I asked the family to bring by chinese food, cake, and ice-cream.  I've even planned a Five Guys trip for Tuesday lunch.  Chinese?  Hmmmm.... it sounds good now, but if it's anything like last year I probably won't eat much until the next day.

6) Staying hydrated.
7) Having a relaxing movie date with the wife to see American Reunion.
8) How am I going to cross the finish line and then find a spot to watch Kate finish.
9) Amy's ankle.
10) Sleep.
11) Having a second baby.
12) My stupid haircut.
13) Shaving my head.
14) Pooping before the race (If you think I'm gross just wait until you run your first marathon).
15) My IPod headphones constantly falling out of my giant ears.
16) What's for lunch tomorrow.
17) How are Jack and Marian holding up?  And are Maeve's hands bigger than Jack's yet.
18) The mess I call a yard.

The list is just going to keep growing... I think that's a good point to stop.  I'm going to see if I can get to bed early for once.  Not the most inspirational blog, but man it feels good to get that off my chest.