Running Essentials

It's been a while since I've blogged and I've been one moody son of a bitch.  I figure getting some thoughts out here might help clear that up.  I really don't have much in particular to blog about, so I was going to take a minute to write about some of the things I have on me when I run and why they're important (I'm not talking about body glide, sports beans, or compressions shorts - but yes, they are essential as well).

One thing I've learned about myself is that I can often lose motivation rather quickly and so it's important that I remind myself why I do what I do.  As a way to remind myself of why I'm out there pushing my body I've got 4 very important things on me at all times.

1.  My wedding band.  Above all I need to remember it's not just about me.  Katie is my rock.  She is the one woman, person, friend I can always rely on no matter what.  She will be there cheering me on as I get a personal record or there to pick me up when I don't come anywhere close.  She's the one that got me into running in the first place.  She's the one that gives me the freedom to run whenever I want and the one that'll drive out into snow storms or out of her way to give me a bottle of water when I need it most.  Most importantly it helps to remind me that her and I are a team and I cannot look at any of this as "Operation Me", when it really has to be about "Operation Us."  Katie and I are going to run every half marathon together until she breaks her goal of under two hours.  We try again this coming Sunday!

2.  My red "Relentless" Leukemia and Lymphoma bracelet.  This bracelet was given to me by my good friend Meghan.  She had originally given me one that her mother wore during her battle with L&L, but unfortunately it was stolen with Kate's jewelry box this past December.  This bracelet reminds me why I started running in the first place.  It was a way to show someone I cared about how much I cared and a way to express how much I wanted to help them through a difficult time without knowing what to say or how to do it.  Although it all started with Mr. and Mrs. McCann the bracelet helps me remember many of the people I run for, like my dad.  It reminds me that no matter how hard it is to get out and run some of my longer runs that things could be much worse.  It means more than that though, it also reminds me that I have others looking out for me and supporting me from numerous directions.

3.  My black One With Them bracelet.  This bracelet's meaning is something entirely different to me than it's intent.  This was given to me by my friend Jack before he moved back home.  It's also got a few meanings to me.  First, it reminds me to keep faith in God.  Things happen for a reason and some recent events in my life have shown me just how true this statement is.  Second, it reminds me that I have more of an influence and an impact on people than I ever realized and that I need to stay confident in myself.  Since the beginning of this year I have had so many of my family and friends reach out to me and tell me how much I've inspired and influenced them.  Jack went from someone that hated running to someone that's now going to be training for a marathon.  My brother has lost almost 50 pounds and is training hard to run in this years Falmouth Road Race.  My sister has also reached out to me for fitness advice and is going to start training with me in the next few weeks.  It's been really incredible and I'm so thankful to know that I can make a difference in someone's life.

4.  My Paige 2-25-10 bracelet.  Paige is always on my mind.  I'm always pushing to set a good example and always trying my hardest to make sure she's proud of me, but I didn't carry anything on me while I ran that reminded solely of her.  I recently purchased a bracelet with her name and birthday on it, and I've been wearing it every day.  It's a way for me to always remember that no matter what happens to me during a run, or throughout the day there is someone that depends on me more than anything.  It just so happens that that little someone can also brighten my day and make me do things I never thought possible.  Paige has a new found love for motorcycles.  I recently told Kate that if she keeps up this love for motorcycles I'm going to have to learn to ride one and then buy one, because there is no way int his world I'm going to disappoint my little girl.  If she thinks they're cool, then her dad is going to be cool!  She continues to help me reevaluate all the choices I make.  Would it set the right example?  Is this something I want her to do one day?  Sometimes it'd difficult, but I know being a role model, especially for her isn't always going to be easy.  I need her in my life and I always want to carry something with me that reminds me of how much love I have for my baby girl.

Now, just because I know Matt usually has some smart ass comment I'll also throw out there that I always have 3 Doors Down on my IPod.  Surprise!  I recently just saw them for the 30th time, and it was a blast.  Keep on rocking! I'll keep on going!

One Mudder of a Blog

This past weekend was pretty incredible.  I took part in a 10 and a half mile military style obstacle course known as Tough Mudder.  I first heard about Tough Mudder from Amy's husband Jay last August while we were down the Cape preparing to run the Falmouth Road Race.  At the time I was nursing a knee injury and hadn't run in almost a month.  Jay showed me the website and I laughed at how insane the challenge seemed.  Never would I ever consider doing it....

Fast forward a few months.  Damien brought up Tough Mudder and was determined to get as many family and friends to join him as possible.  By this point I was signed up for the Boston Marathon and told him I'd consider it.  Fast forward another few months, early January.  I was hanging out with some Hanover folks at the Texas Roadhouse and was a few Killian Irish Red's in when another co-worker brought up the Mudder.  Beer balls!   BAM, I was in.  The next day at work I proved I wasn't all talk, paid the entry fee and soon we had formed team Phat Kids.

From January to May a lot happened, but most of the time I was focused on training for the Marathon.  I started a daily push up challenge with my buddy Jack to keep me somewhat focused on upper body strength and got stronger than I have ever been.  Then the Marathon came and went.  Emotionally it was an unbelievable experience, but the day was physically exhausting and I lost a lot of my motivation to focus on the Mudder, but that wouldn't stop it from coming.

Saturday morning I picked up Jack at the airport and we headed to Vermont with most of the team (Nick, Joe, Ian, Mike, and Damien).  Saturday night came and went and it was time for the event.  When we arrived at the mountain we could see the first wave of people had already started.  Looking as high as you could on Mount Snow you could see the deserted ski trails littered with people.  One thing was certain, Heartbreak Hill looked simple.  As we waited to start the anxiety was overwhelming for me, so much so that a few of my teammates started to comment that I was making them nervous.  It only built when I saw that we had to climb over an eight foot wall just to get to the starting line.  Then it was time.  As a team we made it over the wall and to the start, and as soon as I was within the anxiety turned to excitement.  It was one of the first times in my life that I stood there with a group of people and knew that it didn't matter what obstacles I could complete it was enough that all of us had signed up and were there ready to start as a team.

After the start line it was straight up the mountain ankle deep in mud.  Then, straight down the mountain, ankle deep in mud.  Jack was the first to wipe out, Damien quickly followed, and by mile 3 we were all a blur of muddy shirts.  There were 28 obstacles along the way.  We jumped into a dumpster filled with ice and water, climbed up and down hills of mud for 2 miles, crawled under barbed wire (and yes, it was real), crawled through pitch black underground tunnels, climbed cargo nets, jumped off planks into freezing cold water, crawled through water while electrical wires dangled from above, walked across balance beams with freezing water below, attempted monkey bars, slid down ice mounds, scaled a cliff (more or less), ran up a half pipe, got sprayed by a fire house, ran through a trail lined with burning hail bails, and climbed through logs wrapped in barbed wire.  Some of us were stronger than others during some of the obstacles, but we all stuck together and finished as the Phat Kids.

The months of hill training and long distance running definitely prepared me well for the mountain.  I had little to no pain in my calfs and legs the next day, but I learned my upper body still needs some work.  I was definitely able to do more than I would have ever been able to do in the past, and I'm proud of what I was able to do.  My only disappointment is that I choose to walk around one of the obstacles toward the end.  Rather than going over the 12 foot berlin wall, I helped my team get up and over and then met them on the other side.  I'm truly pissed at myself for this - there was no reason for me not to go over.  It wasn't an individual event, everyone needed their team to get over, and there were hundred's of strangers that were there willing to lift me.  This was the challenge that had me nervous from the moment I saw it.  I envisioned myself coming off of the wall and breaking my ankle and putting an end to all the running I have planned over the next few months.  I let my fear get the best of me.  It's like my mind is always looking for an out.  I'm always looking for something that can turn an incredible moment into a disappointment.  Well, props buddy, you did it again!  I dwelled on this a lot on Monday and Tuesday, but I'm ready to let it go now and just be proud of ever taking part in Tough Mudder.

To the 8 other Phat Kids - Damien, Jack, Joe, Nick, Meghan, Sarah, Ian, and Mike - thank you for an unbelievable experience.  Damien, thank you for planting the seed in my head and always giving me confidence to try new things and to be myself.  Jack, thanks for coming back to New England to be part of it all!  I hope the two of you are ready for some serious running once you've recovered.

One final thought now that the Marathon and the Mudder are behind me.  I'm in a complete post-event depression.  I have a sort of emptiness and I'm not sure how to fill the void.  I know it sounds insane, but I almost feel like I need my next challenge.  I still have the goal of a sub 4 hour marathon and I'm signed up for the Marine Corp, but right now it doesn't seem like enough.  I'm hoping as I get further from these events the feeling will go away, but right now it's not welcomed!

Below are some of my favorite pictures from the event: