I want to start by thanking everyone for all the support and encouragement that I received after my last blog entry. That entry in particular was difficult to write. I really appreciate all of your comments.
Today was weigh in day - I'm down to 183.8! 10.8 pounds to reach my marathon goal weight, at least what started off as my goal weight. I'm not giving up on my fitness goals, just reassessing. 10.8 pounds might be too much for me to lose in the 12 weeks that I have left between now and the marathon, it may also be unrealistic. I'm not sure I have that weight to lose without losing muscle. My approach this year has been completely different and I've been focusing a lot on strength training. I feel it every day when I run, I'm stronger and faster than I was last year. I have the confidence to crush this marathon!
Now, to clear the mind... It's been a difficult week for me in some respects. I had a long conversation with my mom about the marathon and some of the sacrifice that has come with it. Katie and I train every Saturday morning, which means time away from Paige. It's not an easy choice each week to get up early on a 6th day and leave my baby behind, but it is MY choice - one clearly my mom and dad don't understand.
When I was growing up I had very little self esteem and I gave up on trying a lot of new things (mostly sports). I never thought I was good enough and was always too concerned about what other people thought of me. My parents tried to get me to participate, but in the end I won out and ended up sitting on the sideline. I don't blame them for this, at the time it's what I thought I wanted. Now that I'm older, I realize it didn't matter how good I was, but what mattered was me getting out there and trying and I was too afraid to do that.
Now this is my chance to participate and push myself to new limits. It doesn't matter how well I do, or what others think of me. What matters is that I get out there and push myself. Last year when I finished the Boston Marathon I felt a sense of accomplishment I had never felt before. And what topped it all off was the reaction I got from those cheering me on - specifically my brother. Besides Keith's best man speech at my wedding it was one of the first times I knew I had made him proud. It made all the long weeks of training and the complete exhaustion worth it.
It's important for me to have Paige see me in the same light and I know Katie feels the same way. I want her to grow up seeing me and Katie challenge ourselves and live an active and healthy lifestyle. I want her to look forward to Marathon Monday and look forward to the day she gets to run it with us. My training runs aren't going to end after April 16th. I'm going to continue to get out there, and when the weather improves I'm going to take Paige along for the ride. For now it'll be in her stroller, but one day it'll be something we all do as a family.
Getting back to my mom and dad... I know they love and respect me and Katie, but they don't necessarily respect our choices. I just hope one day they'll realize I live my life to set an example for Paige, to encourage her and to give her a role model to be proud of. I love my parents and appreciate everything they've done and do for me, but man can they drive me nuts! I want them to come and see me run on marathon Monday because they're proud of the man I've become and proud of me for achieving my goal, not because I ask them to or because they feel obligated. I decided to run for Tedy's Team for a number of reasons, but the most important reason was to honor my dad.
One thing about becoming a parent makes you realize, you can't always please your children - and you certainly can't always please their grandparents!
This message will self destruct...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Pages (the 3DD song, not a misspelled version of my daughter)
Yesterday morning, while it was 30 degrees and windy as hell, I was outside in the pitch black running up and down the hills of the Hanover parking lot. It was a cold run, but it was a good time for me to reflect - and as I've stated before, I like to reflect. The purpose of this blog was to push me along, holding me accountable for my fitness goals. I also want it to be a place where I can post my thoughts and clear my head, keeping me focused.
As I was running up and down the hills "Pages" came on my playlist. It's an important song to me. It brings me back to a moment in time that I can remember every little detail of... Back in 2008 I was on Team in Training and was preparing to run a half marathon in Alaska. It was a tough time for me. Most of 2007 and 2008 was a very difficult time for me. At the beginning of 2007 I went on Lamisil to help me with a little toenail issue (told you I was going to be honest!), and unfortunately I suffered from some serious side effects. The medication caused me to have some serious nightmares in my sleep and terrible daydreams while I was awake. Then, shortly after this started to occur I completely lost my sense of taste. At that point I figured out it was the Lamisil and stopped taking it immediately. I was lucky enough to stop taking it before it did any liver damage. My sense of taste came back a few months later, but the damage had been done. I lost a lot of weight since I wasn't really eating and never really bounced back from the dreams. These effects lingered for a while and coupled with the stress of buying a new house I slipped into a depressed state. I felt alone, even though I knew I had an extremely supportive wife and some close friends that were extremely concerned for my well being. One way or another I couldn't pull myself out of it. Which brings me to "Pages".
I was running one of my longer training runs, which at the time was probably around 7 miles, and I was by myself on a side street in Grafton. I was approaching an overpass to the Mass Pike, about 3 or 4 houses down when Pages came on my IPod. I had heard the song before, but I had never really listened to the lyrics. This time I did, and they struck me hard. It was all the emotions and frustrations I was feeling. I remember the exact house I was in front and I remember bursting into tears at that very moment. I had to stop and collect my thoughts before I continued on. It was my first step toward making things right again.
Hearing that song yesterday still brings me back, but now I think about how far I've come and how lucky I am to have Katie in my life. She stayed by my side when I know it had to be difficult, and I know she'll always stay by my side. It's funny, there's a song off 3DD's newest album (Heaven) that sums up what Katie is for me and how she helped me through some of the most dark days. I'm so thankful to have her and thankful to have triggers that remind me of how far I've come. It's little things like this that keep me motivated to push forward and achieve everything I'm hoping to over the next year.
**disclaimer** yes I'm aware that I reference 3DD a lot, but I enjoy their music which shouldn't be a surprise to any of you that care enough to read my blog. And for those that didn't pick up on it, the title of my blog is also a 3DD song - BAM!
As I was running up and down the hills "Pages" came on my playlist. It's an important song to me. It brings me back to a moment in time that I can remember every little detail of... Back in 2008 I was on Team in Training and was preparing to run a half marathon in Alaska. It was a tough time for me. Most of 2007 and 2008 was a very difficult time for me. At the beginning of 2007 I went on Lamisil to help me with a little toenail issue (told you I was going to be honest!), and unfortunately I suffered from some serious side effects. The medication caused me to have some serious nightmares in my sleep and terrible daydreams while I was awake. Then, shortly after this started to occur I completely lost my sense of taste. At that point I figured out it was the Lamisil and stopped taking it immediately. I was lucky enough to stop taking it before it did any liver damage. My sense of taste came back a few months later, but the damage had been done. I lost a lot of weight since I wasn't really eating and never really bounced back from the dreams. These effects lingered for a while and coupled with the stress of buying a new house I slipped into a depressed state. I felt alone, even though I knew I had an extremely supportive wife and some close friends that were extremely concerned for my well being. One way or another I couldn't pull myself out of it. Which brings me to "Pages".
I was running one of my longer training runs, which at the time was probably around 7 miles, and I was by myself on a side street in Grafton. I was approaching an overpass to the Mass Pike, about 3 or 4 houses down when Pages came on my IPod. I had heard the song before, but I had never really listened to the lyrics. This time I did, and they struck me hard. It was all the emotions and frustrations I was feeling. I remember the exact house I was in front and I remember bursting into tears at that very moment. I had to stop and collect my thoughts before I continued on. It was my first step toward making things right again.
Hearing that song yesterday still brings me back, but now I think about how far I've come and how lucky I am to have Katie in my life. She stayed by my side when I know it had to be difficult, and I know she'll always stay by my side. It's funny, there's a song off 3DD's newest album (Heaven) that sums up what Katie is for me and how she helped me through some of the most dark days. I'm so thankful to have her and thankful to have triggers that remind me of how far I've come. It's little things like this that keep me motivated to push forward and achieve everything I'm hoping to over the next year.
**disclaimer** yes I'm aware that I reference 3DD a lot, but I enjoy their music which shouldn't be a surprise to any of you that care enough to read my blog. And for those that didn't pick up on it, the title of my blog is also a 3DD song - BAM!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Simma down, me!
Today was a weigh in day... Up I go, oops! I weighed in at 186.6 today, almost up a full pound from last week. I'm not surprised, or disappointed because I know there will be ups and downs and I know I worked my butt off this week. Unfortunately, I ate like crap. I blame football season!
I had a great hill run last Wednesday outside on the Hanover campus. It was a bit cold, but I ended up doing 2 miles of hills. The plan is to increase it by at least a half mile per week each Wednesday. Following the hill work out I go into the gym and participate in a 15 minute class. The class consists of 5 exercises and 5 sets of each. It's an intense 5 minutes, but well worth it.
Saturday was my first official heartbreak hill run of the marathon season. I ran along with Amy and her and I killed it! Katie did awesome too and came in just a few minutes behind us. It would have been an excellent workout, if I had taken the proper time to recover. Instead of taking it nice and easy for the rest of the day I ended up at the Patriots/Broncos game. I'm certainly not complaining, but being on my feet for over 12 hours was killer on my body. I took a nice slow 3 mile walk on Sunday, and then jumped back into things yesterday. My foot and left knee disagreed with the amount of time I had given myself to recover. I'm at that point in my training where the miles go up and the aches and pains start to last a little longer. I need to be smart about it this year and mentally get over the hurtle that I need to work out every day, twice a day! Despite the pains I still worked out yesterday morning, ran 3 miles last night, and then took another intense class this morning. I spent 2 hours at my desk today with an ice pack on my knee. Lesson learned! Tomorrow will be an off day at the first sign of pain!
In case I don't blog again before Saturday wish me luck on my 16 miler... my longest run since Boston 2011!
I had a great hill run last Wednesday outside on the Hanover campus. It was a bit cold, but I ended up doing 2 miles of hills. The plan is to increase it by at least a half mile per week each Wednesday. Following the hill work out I go into the gym and participate in a 15 minute class. The class consists of 5 exercises and 5 sets of each. It's an intense 5 minutes, but well worth it.
Saturday was my first official heartbreak hill run of the marathon season. I ran along with Amy and her and I killed it! Katie did awesome too and came in just a few minutes behind us. It would have been an excellent workout, if I had taken the proper time to recover. Instead of taking it nice and easy for the rest of the day I ended up at the Patriots/Broncos game. I'm certainly not complaining, but being on my feet for over 12 hours was killer on my body. I took a nice slow 3 mile walk on Sunday, and then jumped back into things yesterday. My foot and left knee disagreed with the amount of time I had given myself to recover. I'm at that point in my training where the miles go up and the aches and pains start to last a little longer. I need to be smart about it this year and mentally get over the hurtle that I need to work out every day, twice a day! Despite the pains I still worked out yesterday morning, ran 3 miles last night, and then took another intense class this morning. I spent 2 hours at my desk today with an ice pack on my knee. Lesson learned! Tomorrow will be an off day at the first sign of pain!
In case I don't blog again before Saturday wish me luck on my 16 miler... my longest run since Boston 2011!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Forward Progress
This past weekend was the first really long run - 14 miles! I ran with Amy this week and it seemed to make it go by much quicker. I think the two of us running together gives us a little extra push as we both have somewhat of a competitive edge. We ran a really good pace that would put us finishing the marathon at about the 4 hour mark. I'm not optimistic that the pace will continue as we expand it to 26.2 miles, but I now truly believe that 4 hours and 15 minutes is easily within my reach.
My brother got me a Garmin GPS watch for Christmas. It's been somewhat of a blessing and a curse. It was great to keep my pace for the 14 miler, but the next day I wanted to go for a slow 5k run and just loosen up. Having the watch on drove me to push it. I ended up running the 5k in a little less than 25 minutes, certainly not the leisurely run I was looking for. I'm hoping Damien is around for more of these shorter runs in the future so I can focus less on the time and more on getting out and clearing my mind.
This past week I also took one final step to permanently burying that fat kid with no self esteem that once controlled me. I signed up for an endurance event called Tough Mudder (www.toughmudder.com). I figure if I'm able to compete in the tough mudder, I'm really not afraid of doing anything. I owe Damien a thank you for pushing me toward signing up, and I owe Killian's Irish Red for the final step. Turns out, once you run your mouth about signing up for something like this while you're out drinking with work buddies they'll hold you accountable the next day. No turning back now!
Finally... it's Tuesday - weigh in day. I'm happy to say I'm down 2.2 pounds this week and at 185.8! 14 weeks until the marathon 13.8 pounds to go!
Monday, January 2, 2012
2012, away we go!
With every new year comes a new resolution... this year Katie and I decided to help each other out. We both intend on giving the 2012 Boston Marathon our all, and I've already given everyone out there everything I can regarding my weight, goals, etc.
As a way to support my ultimate goal the wife and I have decided to give each other weekly goals to accomplish. I think it'll be an excellent motivation for both of us to stay on track! I'm not going to share the goals I set for Katie on my blog, but I'll gladly share the goals she has set for me along the way. Our first week she has given me the task of completing the P90X abs work out twice before our next training run on Saturday. Doesn't sound too difficult, but I'm all about running and taking classes at the gym. By the time I get home I'm exhausted and really have no motivation to put on a workout video. As simple as it sounds, it'll be a challenge, but CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
Now I know when I started this blog I had intended on weighing in every Tuesday, but we hit a little snag that set me a little off track when our house was broken into on my first week. So... tomorrow is the big day, weigh-in day number 1! I have a feeling it'll set the stage for how hard I'll hit the gym going forward. I've felt really good about the way I've been eating and working out the past few weeks (with the exception of a few Christmas cookies). I'm hoping the scale will reflect the same!
As a way to support my ultimate goal the wife and I have decided to give each other weekly goals to accomplish. I think it'll be an excellent motivation for both of us to stay on track! I'm not going to share the goals I set for Katie on my blog, but I'll gladly share the goals she has set for me along the way. Our first week she has given me the task of completing the P90X abs work out twice before our next training run on Saturday. Doesn't sound too difficult, but I'm all about running and taking classes at the gym. By the time I get home I'm exhausted and really have no motivation to put on a workout video. As simple as it sounds, it'll be a challenge, but CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
Now I know when I started this blog I had intended on weighing in every Tuesday, but we hit a little snag that set me a little off track when our house was broken into on my first week. So... tomorrow is the big day, weigh-in day number 1! I have a feeling it'll set the stage for how hard I'll hit the gym going forward. I've felt really good about the way I've been eating and working out the past few weeks (with the exception of a few Christmas cookies). I'm hoping the scale will reflect the same!
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