12 weeks to go...

I want to start by thanking everyone for all the support and encouragement that I received after my last blog entry.  That entry in particular was difficult to write.  I really appreciate all of your comments.

Today was weigh in day - I'm down to 183.8!  10.8 pounds to reach my marathon goal weight, at least what started off as my goal weight.  I'm not giving up on my fitness goals, just reassessing.  10.8 pounds might be too much for me to lose in the 12 weeks that I have left between now and the marathon, it may also be unrealistic.  I'm not sure I have that weight to lose without losing muscle.  My approach this year has been completely different and I've been focusing a lot on strength training.  I feel it every day when I run, I'm stronger and faster than I was last year.  I have the confidence to crush this marathon!

Now, to clear the mind...  It's been a difficult week for me in some respects.  I had a long conversation with my mom about the marathon and some of the sacrifice that has come with it.  Katie and I train every Saturday morning, which means time away from Paige.  It's not an easy choice each week to get up early on a 6th day and leave my baby behind, but it is MY choice - one clearly my mom and dad don't understand.

When I was growing up I had very little self esteem and I gave up on trying a lot of new things (mostly sports).  I never thought I was good enough and was always too concerned about what other people thought of me.  My parents tried to get me to participate, but in the end I won out and ended up sitting on the sideline.  I don't blame them for this, at the time it's what I thought I wanted.  Now that I'm older, I realize it didn't matter how good I was, but what mattered was me getting out there and trying and I was too afraid to do that.

Now this is my chance to participate and push myself to new limits.  It doesn't matter how well I do, or what others think of me.  What matters is that I get out there and push myself.  Last year when I finished the Boston Marathon I felt a sense of accomplishment I had never felt before.  And what topped it all off was the reaction I got from those cheering me on - specifically my brother.  Besides Keith's best man speech at my wedding it was one of the first times I knew I had made him proud.  It made all the long weeks of training and the complete exhaustion worth it.

It's important for me to have Paige see me in the same light and I know Katie feels the same way.  I want her to grow up seeing me and Katie challenge ourselves and live an active and healthy lifestyle.  I want her to look forward to Marathon Monday and look forward to the day she gets to run it with us.  My training runs aren't going to end after April 16th.  I'm going to continue to get out there, and when the weather improves I'm going to take Paige along for the ride.  For now it'll be in her stroller, but one day it'll be something we all do as a family.

Getting back to my mom and dad... I know they love and respect me and Katie, but they don't necessarily respect our choices.  I just hope one day they'll realize  I live my life to set an example for Paige, to encourage her and to give her a role model to be proud of.  I love my parents and appreciate everything they've done and do for me, but man can they drive me nuts!  I want them to come and see me run on marathon Monday because they're proud of the man I've become and proud of me for achieving my goal, not because I ask them to or because they feel obligated.  I decided to run for Tedy's Team for a number of reasons, but the most important reason was to honor my dad.

One thing about becoming a parent makes you realize, you can't always please your children - and you certainly can't always please their grandparents!

This message will self destruct...