Quick Operation Me Update

So I gave in, I got my measurements done on Wednesday.

The numbers on the left are from 12/13/11, the numbers on the right are from Wednesday:           

Body Fat %: 15.2%  13.9%

Waist: 34 in  32.5 in

Abdominal: 38 in  36 in

Hip: 41 in  39.5 in

Thigh: 23.5 in  22 in

Calf: 16 in  16 in

 

Overall I'm pleased with where I ended up.  I was hoping for more on the body fat %, but I can't be disappointed, instead I can just continue to push myself.  As of now though, I'm happy with how far I've come.  I was also given my Body Fat % from 2009 and 2010.  2009 I was 19.8% and 18% in 2010.  I've come a long way almost dropping 6% in the past 2 and a half years!  As a former husky kid, I'm thrilled!

 

The next part is the important part.

2011 Marathon 4:32... goal was 4:15 on 12/13... today my new goal is 4:00!  18 days until I find out if I'm able to do it or not.  Meanwhile I'll just continue to work on operation me.

The end result, Katie, Amy & My tweetathon

Today I did one of my last hill runs before Boston.  It went well, but man was it freezing outside!  I cut it a little short and only did about 2 miles of hills as opposed to 3, but I think I'm okay with that.  After the run I spoke to one of my trainers at the gym (Jess) about my weight and measurements.  When I started this journey back at the beginning of December I posted all of my stats so that I could look back and see where I made the biggest strides.  I'm contemplating having my measurements taken again tomorrow morning to see if I've made the progress I set out to make 4 months ago.

There's an upside and a downside to doing this tomorrow.  1.  If I didn't come as far as I'd like I'm going to be discouraged and I don't want that to shape the next 3 weeks of training leading up to the marathon.  2.  If I see a change and I'm happy with it, will it give me the extra motivation I need to be disciplined and allow me to enjoy the next 3 weeks?  Tomorrow morning we'll see which direction I go, until now I'll sleep on it.

Yesterday I ended my blog saying I wanted to say something about Katie and Amy.  So, now that the excitement of the 3DD tour is behind me I can talk about that.  Katie has been an incredible support system for me for years, but especially the last four months.  Going on this journey together we've been able to keep each other in check.  Katie helps me to realize there are going to be ups and downs, but I need to have an in between too.  It's been incredible watching her grow over the past few months as well.  She looks amazing and I couldn't be more proud of her for all the hard work she's done.  She's been taking a revabs class 3-4 nights a week for the past month and is taking it throughout May.  I know it's been difficult for her having time away from me and Paige at night, but I can see what a difference it's made in her.  She's stronger and more confident.  Just last week she ran a personal best in a half marathon, just under 2:02.  Unfortunately, I rubbed off a little on her as well.  At the end she was disappointed she didn't get under 2:00, even though she took about 5 minutes off her last PR.

Amy has been an awesome running partner during the long Saturday training runs.  Amy and I often start off at the same pace and keep each other entertained during the long miles.  We sometimes split up into the run, but only for the last leg of it.  It's been incredible motivation.  Amy has helped me realize I can come close to beating 4:00 for the marathon, when originally I was aiming for 4:15.  She recently got sidelined with an injury, but should be up and ready to go on 4/16.  The past few long runs have been tough without her.  She helps me keep my pace and push through the always uncomfortable beginning of my runs.  It's been great getting to know her better over the past 4 months and I hope even after the marathon she'll considering hitting the road with me every few weeks.  I'm asking everyone that believes out there to say some prayers and send her some well wishes.  Katie and I need her out there with us on 4/16.  The 3 of us are a team.  We've done all the fundraising and training together and it won't be nearly as rewarding if we don't all cross that finish line on 4/16.

Finally, Matt reminded me that I got a PR in a half marathon a few weeks ago and failed to ever bring it up, so here I am bringing it up.  I set out to run a nice relaxing 13 miler.  I had no intent on getting a record and just wanted to enjoy the beautiful weather and get the run in.  I even took my phone so I could tweet every few miles and take some pictures along the course.  I was completely relaxed.  It was a good lesson... take a step back.  Don't take everything too serious and remember to enjoy the run.  Although I don't plan on taking my phone with me on Marathon Monday I do want to enjoy every mile.

20 days to go!

the LONG run...

It's been two weeks since I wrote a blog and as I sit here right now I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to write about, so let's see where this takes me.

To start Saturday was my 21 mile run.  I was nervous about the run, but not as nervous as last year.  I wish I had been!  It was the hardest run I've had in a long time, by far.  I started off the run at a pace faster than I should have and ended up hitting a wall at mile 19.  Mile 19-21 were tough, and by the end I was completely exhausted and it would have been a struggle to make it the full 26.2.  Could I have finished? Yes, but not in the time I want.  I started off training knowing that my 2011 time was 4:32, my goal in 2012 was 4:15.  Once the training got underway my new goal became 4:00.  Saturday made me realize that although it's attainable, it's going to be very difficult.  I have 3 long 18+ mile runs under my belt, and I did fantastic at all of them, but for some reason this 21 miler really kicked my ass.

I spoke with my coach during my training run this past week and he wants me to come in around 1:55-2:00 at the halfway mark.  I came in about 2:02 this past weekend, but that included stopping at the water stops and chatting for a bit.  I'm hoping I can cut out that time and conserve some energy to get me over the last 5 miles of the run.  I know the adrenaline of race day adds to the excitement and I know having family and friends out there on the course and others tracking me from a far will give me some extra drive.  I'm really hope to see a lot of my friends out there that day, I'm going to need you guys to push me along the course and help me achieve my goal.

And, in the case that I don't meet my 4:00 goal, here's what else I need from everyone.  Remind me of how far I've come.  Remind me that my original goal was 4:15 and anything less than 4:32 is in improvement from last year.  Remind me of all the times I blogged about how great I felt and how much I talked about everything I've overcome.  Remind me of how I inspired some of you to start running and how I'll continue to push some of you toward running a 5k, 1/2 marathon, or even a full marathon.  Most of all, remind me that all those extra hours away from my Paige were for a good cause and for setting a good example.

Finally, leading up to that day - remind me that I can do it!  Say some prayers, and send me some good vibes.  You have all probably read things about me you didn't know before and got to know a lot more about who I am and what makes me tick.  So, here's where I admit, I love to be the center of attention, and on Marathon Monday I'll take as much of it as you want to throw my way.

I'm glad I had the rough end to Saturday's run.  It reminded me that I'm not a pro at this and I have a lot to work on.  I know not to get too confident, but I also know I can get through, I just need to be smart!

I want to write more about two very important people that have made this journey with me this year, Katie and Amy - but I just got completely distracted by finding out that 3 Doors Down is coming to the area in May. I can no longer focus, haha.   I'll dedicate a blog to them later in the week.

As of right now I'm 183.  I want to see the 8 become a 7 before Marathon Monday, but I'm not sure that's going to happen.  More on that later....

How it all began...

Today as I finished up a 4 mile hill run I was walking back to the gym and saw the first crocus of the year.  Personally, I hate these flowers.  They last about a day and then they die, but they remind me of a friend's mother, Alice.  She always loved them because they were the first real sign of spring.  I had been wanting to write this blog for a while and seeing that first flower told me today was a good day.

In 2006 I was watching one of my close friends, Meghan, go through a very difficult time.  Katie and I had only know Meghan for a few short years, but she was the type of friend we knew would do anything for us and we wanted to return the favor.  Both of Meghan's parents were battling Leukemia and no matter how much we wanted to help her get through the tough time it was just one of those moments where you can never find the words to say and comfort.

This is when Katie that came up with the idea to join Team in Training and train for a half marathon while raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  I hated the idea of running, I was overweight and had never run more than 3 miles before in my life, but it seemed like the perfect way to show Meghan that although our words couldn't express it, we were there to do whatever we could to help her.

We ran with Team in Training for two years.  During the first year I hated every minute of it.  I hated to run on a schedule, I wanted to do it on my own time.  I was slow and every training run hurt like hell.  Our first year we ran the San Diego Half Marathon and the second year we ran the Mayor's Half-Marathon in Anchorage Alaska (Katie did the full).  It was during my training for the second run that I really started to enjoy what I was doing, not so much the running part, but the fundraising.  We ended up throwing a big fundraiser at a local bar in Worcester and having a drawing for some great prizes.  A local band came to lend their support and a ton of our friends, family, and co-workers came to spend $$.  Katie and I ended up raising close to $20k that year.  It was an amazing feeling to know that we were helping a great cause and supporting a friend at the same time.

Unfortunately just days before we ran the second run Meghan's mom passed away.  I was in Alaska at the time of the funeral.  It was difficult, but it gave the run a new meaning.  I felt a true sense of purpose when I was running and I called Meghan and spoke to her on the phone during the last leg of the race and as I crossed the finish line.  I'll never forget that moment.  "This is for your mom, Meg!"  I have a photo of myself crossing the finish line while on the phone hanging in my basement.  I love to look back and remember that moment, even though I know it was such a difficult time for my friend.

I owe a lot of my passion for running and fundraising to the McCann clan.  Although I no longer run for Team in Training, I think of Alice a lot while I'm out running and always remember why I started this incredible journey.  The McCanns will always be very special to me, and in the future to Paige - Meg is her godmother after all.

Now although I'm no longer running for Team in Training Meghan's brother-in-law and Alice and Bill's son-in-law, Brain is competing in the 2012 Ironman in their memory.  Brian is raising money for the Dana Farber Cancer Institute.  He's currently running a fundraiser for a March Madness.  If you have an extra $20 sign up and help him out!

http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/33856/invitation?key=e6df8859dad34364

Wow.

I had a pity party in last week's blog, so I want to get passed that.  First of all I want to thank some individuals that reached out to me (Patty, Tricia, Jack, Aunt Jane and Matt), I really appreciate your words of encouragement and sharing some of your own stories.  Most importantly I want to thank Kate for giving me a good level setting pep talk the next morning.  I need to realize that I have too many ups and downs, not enough in betweens.  Good news is today I'm back down to 182 and I'm feeling pretty good.

Now just a quick blog to say THANK YOU!  We had our bowling tournament on Saturday and the response was overwhelming.  I couldn't believe how many friends, family, teammates and co-workers came out to show their support.  It was especially nice for me to see so many of my cousins come out.  I have a big family and it's not often we get to see each other, but it's great to know that when it matters we're all there for each other.

We raised over $6k on the event and I'm hoping going forward it'll be a yearly tradition.  I can't thank you enough.  I hope I make everyone of you proud when I'm out there running for Tedy's Team on April 16th.

Operation Me needs help.

I knew I was in trouble today when "Pages" come up on my IPod and rather than listening to it and reminding myself what I've overcome I skipped it because I didn't want to slip into my old self.

This is the week I rely on this blog to push me over a hurdle.  The past few blogs have been all about how great I've been doing, how fantastic my time has been, and how little the number on the scale means to me.  I am proud of my accomplishments, but this week I hit a wall.  It's the same fucking wall I hit every time I'm involved in an exercise routine, only this time it's really sending me off the deep end.

Every exercise routine and training season I get to the edge of being at my ultimate goal.  I get to a point where I know that if I just push a little harder and be a little more dedicated I'll achieve the number on the scale and have the body image that I want, but for some reason I can't take that last step.  Instead of doing what I need to do I get lazy and I settle for good enough.  I start to indulge in food that I had been so good about avoiding, and not just a little I go full throttle.  Well, it happened again the past two weeks.  I ran a great half marathon and saw the weight on the scale drop to 182.  I stopped watching what I ate and I started pushing myself too hard when I knew my body needed a rest.  Now my legs are tired and my weight is back up.

I weighed back in at 186 today.  I know to some this may not seem like a big deal, but to me it's more than just a number.  I know just last week I said the opposite, but I lied.  The number does matter to me.  It shows me that I'm not as far along as I thought I was.  Physically do I know I can achieve my goal of 4 hours?  Yes.  Mentally?  Well, if the scale tells me anything it's that I still have a lot to do before I overcome my biggest weaknesses of low self esteem and the fat kid that looms within.  Again, I know it may seem like I'm just looking for  reasons to be down on myself, but this very reason is why I started this blog.  I hoped I had gotten passed this, but I finally got to the point where I need help.

I like to think I've been there for many of my friends being supportive and pushing them along.  I hope that wasn't just in my head.  Now I need your help.  I need to be held accountable.  I need someone to check up on me.  I need to get passed this point and have a consistent confidence in myself.  I'm open to any suggestions or any methods.  Hurl the insults.  Send the midnight texts to keep me away from the late night snack.  Punch me in the balls.  I just need help.  I know this feeling I have right now too well, it snowballs and eventually defeats me.

I took a step on my own today and signed up for the Marine Corp Marathon down in DC in October.  I figure having to train for another marathon only six months away will keep me somewhat on track, I just hope its enough.  I hope this feeling comes and goes quickly this time around.  I have six weeks until Boston and I need to go into it as strong as I can physically and mentally.