Try again.

It's been over six months since my last post and a lot has changed.  I've fallen off the wagon, gotten back on, fallen off, gotten back on, and then fell hard.  I ran the Marine Corp Marathon back on October 28th.  I had set a goal of 4 hours, I came in at 4 hours and 4 minutes.  Since then I've run less than 10 times total.  I completely lost my motivation.

First the excuses:  I hurt my foot - 3 weeks gone.  Work got busy - 2 weeks gone.  Holidays - 2 weeks gone.  I got the flu - another 2 weeks gone…. That brings me to today.

I'm ready to get motivated, not just because it's a new year, but because running is what keeps me going.  The last few months have been mentally tough and physically draining.  I've gained weight back and have just become tired.  I'm not as happy as I once was and I haven't been as good of a father, husband, son, brother, or friend.  This isn't me.

This week I plan on returning to Boston to train with my team.  I may not be as fast as I usually am or run without as many breaks, but it's a start and that's the important thing.  On top of that planning for my 2013 Bowling Tournament is getting underway.  This is the week I finally sit down and send out my letters soliciting donations and prizes.  It's also the week I finally live up to being a mentor to my teammate Bill.

In 2013 I plan on running 5 marathons, starting in March.  My time is limited and this year I want to take a new approach.  I don't want to focus on a time I want to focus on endurance and completing these marathons without injury.  My first step is towards better nutrition.  For those of you that know me I'm a sweet tooth, but this year my New Years resolution is to give up all those things that drag me down.  I'll continue 2012's resolution of no soda as well.  This year my goal is to eat fish at least once a week and limit red meat to almost nothing.  I also want to eat one full vegetarian meal a week.

Finally, I need to learn to focus on the things in life that matter to me most: Paige, Katie, my friends, my family, Tedy's Team… as simple as walking my dog more and less on the clutter in my garage, the laundry that didn't get done, and the dirty dish in the sink.  The little things in life cause me so much anxiety that take so much of my energy away from the things that are important.  I know it's not going to be easy, but recognizing and acknowledging the stupid little things is a start.

Next week I hope to blog about my first week of cold winter training and how much I missed running.  I'm hoping that getting this out there again makes me accountable and pushes me to be the athlete I was on the road to becoming in 2012.