First a big apology to everyone around me. I knew the anxiety would be a lot this week and I knew I'd have my ups and downs, but holy shit! I've been an annoying person that needs constant validation and I thank you all for bearing with me. 4 more days to get through and then the big day is finally here! Stick with me!
Now, to blow off some of the anxiety... the following things have been clouding my head this week:
1) The weather. First it's 62 and partly cloudy. Then it's 80 and sunny. Now it's back to the low 60s. I can't do a thing about this. Why worry about it? Because I've trained hard and I want my 4 hours. If it's too hot that goes out the window. I already know I can finish, so now I want the time. Too bad, this is going to impact every runner out there. Suck it up. Okay, done. Moving on...
2) Which sneakers do I wear? I've had two pair that I like. One of them has been great for the shorter distance running and the other I've used for all the long runs. In one pair my ankles are always sore for the first few miles, in another my foot tends to hurt more later in the run. Coin toss?
3) Where is everyone going to be? I want to make sure I see everyone that's come out to support me. I can't worry about this. I'm one person, they'll find me. I would love it for my entire family to be at the finish line, but I know this is impossible, and it's probably the last place I need the support. Once you turn the corner and see the finish line in the distance it's enough to push through anything.
4) My time. I want the 4 hours, for myself and for all of you. So many of my friends and family will be tracking me online I don't want them to see me approach the four hours and go over. I want all of you that have been cheering for me over the past five months to know that I was worth cheering for and that I'm physically and mentally strong enough to accomplish everything I've set out to do.
5) What am I going to eat Monday night. I've been pretty good about my diet, but on Monday and likely a few days after, I'm going to eat whatever the hell I want. I asked the family to bring by chinese food, cake, and ice-cream. I've even planned a Five Guys trip for Tuesday lunch. Chinese? Hmmmm.... it sounds good now, but if it's anything like last year I probably won't eat much until the next day.
6) Staying hydrated.
7) Having a relaxing movie date with the wife to see American Reunion.
8) How am I going to cross the finish line and then find a spot to watch Kate finish.
9) Amy's ankle.
10) Sleep.
11) Having a second baby.
12) My stupid haircut.
13) Shaving my head.
14) Pooping before the race (If you think I'm gross just wait until you run your first marathon).
15) My IPod headphones constantly falling out of my giant ears.
16) What's for lunch tomorrow.
17) How are Jack and Marian holding up? And are Maeve's hands bigger than Jack's yet.
18) The mess I call a yard.
The list is just going to keep growing... I think that's a good point to stop. I'm going to see if I can get to bed early for once. Not the most inspirational blog, but man it feels good to get that off my chest.
Dan-I don't blame you a bit for being anxious. This is such a HUGE accomplishment and there'd be something wrong with you if you didn't feel at least a little of the things you're feeling. Stop watching the weather. Pray. As for #4, speaking for myself, whether you run in 4 hours or 6, you're still AWESOME. You're running the Boston Marathon for God's sake. That makes you elite. You're an inspiration and its easy to admire you. As for the rest (except for #14), just let go. These things will work themselves out. Your friends and family love you, you have an amazing support system. Let your anxiety fuel your adrenaline, but don't let it take over. You've done an outstanding job. Relax.
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